Oh dear...

:-(

I've gone broke, after 2 weeks of really frustrating times on and off the poker tables I finally mananged to bust my roll in about 25 minutes of madness.

I played like a complete tool, only for 25 minutes, but that was enough to see 6 weeks hard online graft vanish into nothing. I'm not going to make excuses on this, I completely lost patience. I've learnt in online poker I am a ticking timebomb. My roll has been hovering between £350- £550 for the last 2 weeks and tonight I decided to go up in blinds and take a shot at boosting my roll.

It started well, I was up around £150, but, after an hour of bad beats and a couple of badly times re raises I went nuts...but certainly not with the nuts!!

I decided to go heads up with £300 at £2-5, blew that in 5 minutes when some guy kept calling me down to make a king high flush on the river, I then lost all patience and decided to try and get lucky by raising every hand etc etc...lost it all.

If you read my first post, I did this a year ago and I don't know where this leaves me in poker. I really wanted to make this work so bad, but like a lot of things it was not meant to be. :-(

Injuries to my shoulders and knee's are not improving and I have no idea what to do about it. I am very bored of working behind a bar and my lack of poker profit, over the last 10 days has left me severley frustrated. These are no excuses to do what I have done. It was unnecessary... just lost my patience completely.

I will never be in the position of having nothing, though, it feels like I have lost everything. My heart is set on basketball and achieving to play at the highest level in this country. I will never give up on that dream, ever. I see the physio again in 2 days and will continue to search for answers.

On the other hand, I feel poker has become too frustarting...the semi-micro limits I play at do not satisfy my needs...thus leading to frustartion, boredom and eventually going broke. If I am ever to be the best I can be, blinds of $1-2 and hopefully $2-5 will need to be played with a $10 000 BR behind me. I will need to set profit targets, cash out more regularly, take 1 week breaks after cashing out too. The last 10 days I have become totally engrossed in making money online and this is not always viable. A break may have enabled me to keep a fresh perspective on the value of money I had. (After all I wasn't losing!)

Anyway, whats done is done...again!! ARGH!! Overall, I only lost £100 of my own money...i can live with that.

I probs won't post again until I turn things around...maybe a couple of months or so. Till then I am going to concentrate on moving my life forward and dig my way out of this hole.
In 2 months I hope to be training to play basketball again, injury free! The poker I will look at again sometime and will put this as another learning curve. I have ambitions in life (steady income, house, family etc) and I don't think relying on poker to feed them is very "wise!"

Anyways, time to sort my life out now!!

Peace out 4 now!

- RICH